


You Can Take Everything From Me ('Cause This is All I Need)

by littlefuzzydude



Series: Perryshmirtz Week 2019 [5]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Birthday, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Heinz relapses to evil, M/M, POV Second Person, Post-Canon, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 20:44:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21082814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlefuzzydude/pseuds/littlefuzzydude
Summary: Heinz turns back to evil on his birthday. You're not surprised. Worried, yes, but not surprised.Written for Perryshmirtz Week Day 5: Celebrations





	You Can Take Everything From Me ('Cause This is All I Need)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday, Mom! I wrote you a fic that you wouldn't like because you don't understand fan fiction! Seriously, though, it's my mom's birthday, so when I saw 'celebrations' on the prompt list, I had to write a birthday fic. 
> 
> Quick note about this being post-canon: I did not write this to be compliant with any of the 'canon' post-canon material (AYA, MML, Doof 101, or OWCA Files), since I haven't actually watched any of them.
> 
> Enjoy!

Heinz is  _ good _ now. But despite claiming to give up evil for good, and even being sincere about it, you know that years of habit and self-image are difficult to break. Heinz has already slipped a few times, with New Year's being the most notable. It was almost like facing the old Heinz that night, except the plan was so benign and poorly thought out you couldn't bear to thwart it like you used to, and after dancing the night away he apologized for falling back into old habits.

You know it gets worse when he's stressed. Stress makes it easier to slip back into what's comfortable, so you really did see the relapse around the holidays coming. That exact same reason is why you aren't surprised to be called in on Heinz's birthday. Worried, yes. But not surprised.

Monogram's briefing is exactly as suspicious as the last time Heinz slipped. The man doesn't seem to believe in giving your former nemesis the benefit of the doubt. You suspect it has only a little to do with Heinz himself and much more to do with the fact that, now that Vanessa is working for OWCA, her and Monty's relationship is public and he doesn't approve.

Regardless of the reason, Monogram tells you that Heinz has shown his true colors and returned to evil, and that you need to stop him. You give him an unimpressed look that he ignores before you leave your lair.

You can't say you aren't happy that Heinz has basically renounced evil, because that couldn't be further from the truth, but you do miss the amount of fieldwork involved in having a nemesis. You could never take another nemesis, Heinz has ruined you for hate, but you wish you were called out for more than the occasional multi-agent mission. You relish opportunities like this even if you hate yourself for it. You don't like that your enjoyment comes at the cost of Heinz's fragile progress.

You fly your jetpack over to Heinz's building. You can't exactly call it the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated building anymore, seeing as he removed the 'Evil' from the side of the building, and you're not sure if he's reincorporated under a new name. The jingle is just instrumental now, which doesn't give you any information. You land on the balcony, and it takes no time for a trap to spring out of the ground and envelop you in its metal arms. You have to give Heinz credit: with the amount of free time he has now, his traps have become much sturdier.

The floor parts under you, leaving you suspended by the trap, and from the space in the ground rises Heinz's rocket skiff. Heinz is at the helm, looking in his element and as evil as you’ve known him to be. Which, granted, isn’t as evil as he  _ could _ be, but it's also a far cry from the person you know he  _ can _ be.

It’s worrying, sometimes, how easily he slides back into his role as evil scientist. It doesn’t seem to take much to trigger the backslide. What’s harder is getting him back to where he was. You’ve been successful thus far in bringing him back to the side of good, but some schemes it’s harder than others and sometimes you worry that next time you won’t get through to him.

"I bet you're wondering, Perry the Platypus, why I have turned back to  _ evil," _ Heinz says, a manic glint in his eye. "You see, my goody-two-shoes brother decided that  _ today, _ he would give a mayoral address to all of Danville! Today, of all days! It's like he's  _ taunting _ me." He pauses. "You  _ do _ remember that today is my  _ birthday, _ right?"

You nod, churring affirmatively.

Heinz nods. "Good. So now, I will wait for his grand address," here he grandly motions to the front steps of City Hall, which you are fast approaching, "and dump a hundred gallons of doonkleberry frosting right on his head!" He points to a large vat at the front of the skiff, which, now that you notice, has the scent of doonkleberries emanating from it. There's also a glowing purple forcefield domed over the top, which you nod towards in question.

"Ah, yes, the anti-bat forcefield, created by my anti-bat forcefield-inator." He pats a small machine next to him fondly. "Don't even think about calling your little bat friends, because they won't be able to get to the frosting to eat it!"

Well there goes that plan. Though you  _ have  _ realized that you can never really thwart Heinz the same way twice, beyond his compulsive self-destruct button placement. He's smarter than people give him credit for, and he usually learns from his mistakes. You'll have to wait for a different opening.

The rocket skiff arrives at City Hall just in time for you to watch Roger exit the front doors and walk to the podium. Heinz is intently watching, an almost manic smile on his face.

You carefully test your bonds and find that they're looser than they first seemed. You can lean down far enough to reach into your hat and pull out a doonkleberry-shaped stress ball. Eyeing the conveniently labeled arm-release button, you drop the ball and whack it with your tail.

It sails past Heinz's head and smacks into the button without the man even noticing. The metal arms drop you, and you land lightly before immediately launching yourself at Heinz. You hit him square in the back, just as Roger taps on the microphone and clears his throat down below.

The two of you impact into the vat of frosting, and Heinz's head bounces off the forcefield. You wince. Apparently the anti-bat forcefield is an anti-anything forcefield. Heinz just shakes his head and throws you off toward the opposite end of the skiff.

"Welcome Danville! Thank you all for coming," Roger begins, and you jump towards the anti-bat forcefield-inator. "Today, we are here to celebrate the wonderful creators who make Danville great."

There's applause from below, and you're briefly distracted, wondering if Roger is honoring your boys for some reason. You quickly refocus, but it's just enough time for Heinz to aim a strong kick at you. You dodge and grab his shin, but it does have the effect of getting you away from the -inator when he pulls his leg back with you on it.

"There are many ways that you can support your city. From stimulating the economy in our local mall to organizing events to cleaning up after yourself at the park, each and every one of us can do our part."

Heinz tries to grab you, but you release his leg and roll away at the last moment. This causes him to overbalance and fall flat on his face. You use his back as a springboard to jump back to the -inator.

"But there are some that go above and beyond the call of duty to their community. It is those citizens of Danville that I would like to recognize today."

There's no obvious self-destruct button on the front of the -inator, but that doesn't mean that there isn't one. You pull out a screwdriver and make quick work of opening the back panel. Behind you, you can hear Heinz pulling himself up, and you quickly pull at some of the now-exposed wires in hopes of deactivating the thing.

"Before we begin, however, I want to recognize someone near and dear to me. He could not make it to the celebration, unfortunately, but he has been one of my inspirations since I was a child, and I can't recognize those who have made the city a better place without talking about my brother, Heinz."

You both freeze at Roger's words. That was honestly the last thing that you expected him to say. You always knew that Heinz cared more for their rivalry than Roger did, but you honestly never expected Roger to express any real affection for his brother. You can tell that there's real, honest admiration behind the man's scripted words. You've never heard Roger be so open.

You look over at Heinz. He's turned to stare at Roger, confusion and rage warring on his face. His hands are clenched and shaking minutely. He clearly doesn't believe the sincerity of Roger's words, and you can't blame him for that.

"You all probably know Heinz, or at least know of him. He's not exactly a people person," here Roger pauses briefly for laughter, and Heinz's knuckles turn white, "but he has a charm to him that is enthralling once you notice it."

You can't argue with that. Heinz is charming, far more than he will ever realize. You've been trapped in his orbit since you first met him, unable to pry yourself away even if you wanted to. You realized early on that you never wanted to.

"Heinz is a genius. He's been building remarkable things since before I was born. Things to make life easier, or to solve problems, or just because he can. He's always made life more interesting."

It's not just Heinz's hands that are shaking now. His whole body is trembling. The rage has receded, replaced with honest grief. You can't help yourself, and you close the gap between you and put your hand on his leg in support. His hands unclench minutely, but his eyes stay fixed on his brother.

"Heinz is the kind of man that you just want to be near. Heck, I followed him across an ocean to Danville. If not for my brother, I wouldn't be your mayor." The crowd let out a few whoops at this, and some very enthusiastic individual yelled something along the lines of 'Go Heinz!'. "So happy birthday, Heinz. Thank you for all that you have done for the city of Danville."

People start applauding loudly, but you tune it out to focus on the man in front of you. Heinz has curled into himself, still trembling. You tug on his lab coat, trying to get him to meet your gaze, and after a moment he tears his eyes off of his brother to look down at you.

He looks lost. You think you know why. Spending life resenting someone and thinking they resent you too only to learn they love you and look up to you must be emotional whiplash.

Mechanically, Heinz walks over to the controls of the skiff. You trail after him, momentarily worried that he'll still go through with his plan of dumping the frosting on Roger, but instead he starts the engine and steers the skiff back towards his building. He doesn't say anything the whole flight, and you don't push.

Heinz lands on the balcony, and you follow him inside. Behind you, you hear the whirr of the floor opening to swallow the rocket skiff. Heinz stops in the middle of the room, where your indoor confrontations usually took place. His face is blank now, worryingly so.

You can’t watch him like this. You gave him space on the flight home, but you don’t think you can give him that space now. You walk right into his line of sight and wait for him to look at you. When he finally does, his eyes focusing on you so slowly you want to scream, you pull something out from behind your back and hold it out to him.

“Perry the Platypus, what…?” Heinz takes the flat box with shaking hands. His eyes widen. “Almond brittle?”

You nod, and mime turning the box over. He does just that, and finds the card you taped to the underside of the box. He peels it off with unusually clumsy fingers. You made the card yourself, and you find yourself feeling self conscious about the simple drawing of you and Heinz holding hands you scribbled on the inside. You’re not in any way an artist, not like your boys or the brilliant man standing in front of you, but you did your best and you hope he likes it.

You watch his face closely. He scrunches his eyebrows together, the way he does when he’s thinking about something. Alarmingly, his eyes quickly become glassy and wet, and you take an unconscious step forward as if you can do something, anything, to stop him from crying.

“I…” Heinz starts, voice trembling with emotion.  _ “Thank you, _ Perry the Platypus.”

You surge forward and wrap your arms around this ridiculous man in front of you, this man who means the world to you and yet can’t see how  _ important _ he is. He laughs wetly and returns the gesture, careful not to drop his gifts.

“Stay,” he murmurs softly into your fur as though he doesn’t want you to hear.

You nod. What else could you possibly do?

**Author's Note:**

> And three in a row that end in tearful hugging. It just works with these characters. I promise the next two fics are much more fluffy.
> 
> I've always liked Roger, and say what you will about him, but I think he genuinely loves Heinz. I just think he doesn't know how to show it.
> 
> Title from Rebel Beat by The Goo Goo Dolls


End file.
